the dailymash

'What the ever-living f**k are you washing your clothes in?' Vinted sellers asked

AFTER receiving clothes that smell like a nuclear warhead went off in a detergent factory, Vinted buyers are wondering what their purchases are cleaned in.

Asking Trump about Iran beginning to seem cruel

IT is so obvious that Trump has no idea what to say or do about the Israel-Iran conflict that asking him about it now seems cruel.

Hezbollah is finished as a movement without Kneecap. By Naim Qassem

AS leader of Hezbollah, I must grimly report that there is no future for us without Kneecap’s winning blend of Irish-language hip-hop, political satire and banging tunes.

Man quietly slips into supermarket chiller cabinet

A MAN struggling with the heat has silently crept into a supermarket chiller cabinet and will remain there until next week.

HS2 now costs £73bn, or seven hundred and thirty-one bat tunnels

Kate pulls out of Royal Ascot after going off hats

Jack Russell demands to be referred to as a 'short king'

A JACK Russell has insisted other dogs refer to him as a ‘short king’ so he stands a better chance with the hot German Shepherd down the street.

School leavers enter the real world with two-month long holiday

TEENAGERS leaving secondary school have been plunged into the harsh reality of ten weeks off pissing about with their mates.