Search Results for: property

How to afford a house: a guide for millennials

YOUNG? Worried you'll be renting forever? You're not thinking about the rich and varied possibilities for home ownership right in front of your eyes.

Pandemic and global recession beaten hands-down by triumphant British house prices

A WORLDWIDE pandemic paired with a global recession is no match for heroic rising British property prices, it has emerged.

Bedroom comes with en-suite oven: a London landlord upsells his flat

FLAT hunters, your search is over. For just a large percentage of your salary – not including bills, council tax, or furniture – my flat could be yours. Take the tour:

Inadequately-sunscreened middle-class child bursts instantly into flames

A MIDDLE-CLASS boy who was not wearing enough sunscreen of a high-enough factor spontaneously combusted yesterday.

Parking outside your house, and other God-given rights people think they have

DO you think the bit of road outside your house is your private property rather than a public highway? You’re probably a twat about these other things too.

Enchanted woodland on midsummer's eve, and other wedding themes for simpering twats

GETTING married? Consumed with making your wedding stand out from all the others? These wedding themes will show everyone the real arsehole you.

Tenants cleaning flat like they're going to get their deposit back

TENANTS are scrubbing a flat from top to bottom before they move out as if it will actually get them their deposit back.

Five time-wasting bastards you'll find in the bank

NEED to quickly pop into the bank to see how overdrawn you are? These time-wasting bastards will turn this simple errand into a drawn-out slog.

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