the dailymash

We ask you: how are you celebrating raw sewage spills doubling in a year?

BRITAIN’S water companies have spilled record amounts of raw sewage into our rivers and seas, proving the doubters wrong. How are you thanking them?

​​Man unsure if he had nice evening or was just drunk

A MAN is unsure whether he had a great time last night or if he was just pissed, it has emerged.

Man shocked to learn his friends are having kids on purpose

A MAN is stunned to discover that his friends are at an age where they are actively having children on purpose, it has emerged.

Bookshelf now source of more guilt than pleasure

BRITONS have admitted that their shelves are stuffed full of books they have bought but will not read because watching telly is easier.

Papa John's, and other chains with too much American bollocks for Britain

PIZZA chain Papa John’s is closing a tenth of its outlets in the UK, and the twee American name must surely have something to do with it. Here are some more with too much colonial nonsense.

BBC to exempt woke households from licence fee

North Korean TV shows Alan Titchmarsh naked from the waist down

Hard-Fi, and other bands that failed to make being working class look good

FOR every act that conveyed their modest backgrounds with aplomb, some bands fetishised them to the point of embarrassment. Like these.