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How to become middle class by upgrading your condiments

ARE you a class betrayer desperate to slither your way into the ranks of the middle classes? Here’s how to do it with your favourite condiments.

'It's fireman not firefighter': seven absolutely bollocks culture war hills to die on

THE wokerati blame the UK’s massive problems on Brexit and the Tories while any sane person knows these are the real issues, writes Roy Hobbs, aged 64.

How to be a good ally to a straight white man

YOU might be a progressive tofu-eating Guardian reader, but do you know how to support straight white men? Become an ally to this un-marginalised group with this guide.

Who was Prince Harry's cougar? We rate the candidates

PRINCE Harry lost his virginity to an older woman in a field behind a pub, but who was the lucky cougar who took the prize? We outline the runners and riders.

Wild sitting, and other activities the middle classes will put 'wild' in front of

ONCE they have exhausted wild swimming, the middle classes are sure to give other simple activities stupid gentrified nicknames. Including these.

Six jobs no one will notice or care if you're shit at

ARE you useless at everything? Try one of these careers where rank incompetence is the accepted norm and even welcomed.

The cliched Christmas of bitter hardship old people never actually had

OLD folk love to remind everyone of the grim Christmases of their childhood which they stoically endured without complaining. But could these memories be lies?

The most f**king annoying end of year lists of 2022

DO we really need a lengthy round-up of the TV shows a bunch of broadsheet journalists enjoyed? Apparently so. And it should be in the form of a list. Let’s count down the rest.