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Queen Spending 'A Shitload' Of Money, According To New Report
SPENDING by the Royal Household has increased from a serious wedge to a shitload, according to official accounts.
Douglas Alexander To Visit Pen Pal
IN his first official act as Secretary of State for International Development, Douglas Alexander is to spend the summer with his pen pal in Bulgaria.
Apple Forced To Recall iPhone After Toaster Fault
APPLE has been forced into an embarrassing recall of the entire first batch of its long awaited iPhone after users reported problems with its on-board toaster.
Greedy Women To Sing Old Songs
THE Spice Girls are re-uniting to take their glittering “Avarice” show on tour citing a deep love of money as the driving force that brought them back together.
One Woman's Week: Portrait Of The Artist
By Karen Fenessey
I HAVE always been one of those annoying people who can do anything if they turn their mind to it. After a two week holiday in Corfu, I was pretty much fluent - chatting to locals about their daily lives and learning all about their unique habits. This is just one of the many skills I possess, and which make me the envy of pretty much everyone I meet.
Ray Of Sunshine Moves Into Number 10
BRITAIN was basked in a golden glow of happy sunshine yesterday as Gordon Brown finally became Prime Minister.
"This Time I Want My Own Drawer," Kate Tells Wills
KATE Middleton will rekindle her relationship with Prince William if she gets her own underpants drawer at Clarence House, the Daily Mash has learned.
Only 75% Think Blair Is A Fecking Twunt, According To Daily Mash Poll
TONY Blair was thrilled last night after only 75% of Daily Mash readers said he would be remembered as a "fecking twunt".