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Old Firm Link To Spoiled Ballots
MORE than 99% of the spoiled ballots in the Holyrood election came from areas with the highest concentration of Rangers and Celtic supporters, according to new research.
Guest Blog: Frank Lampard
None of you people who lead ordinary, run-of-the-mill, dreary, worthless existences could possibly imagine what it’s like to live in the goldfish bowl - in fact, the thing I live in is more than that…it’s like an aquarium big enough to house those really, really big tortoises that can swim. That’s what it’s like to be me.
'Brown Offered Me A Foot Rub', Claims Ashdown
LORD Ashdown has accused the Labour Party of playing politics with his feet after he was offered a vigorous massage by Gordon Brown.
'Manhunt 2' Producers Launch Glastonbury Version
CENSORS have welcomed a new version of the controversial game Manhunt in which players rampage through Glastonbury wiping out solicitors pretending to be hippies for the weekend.
Free £5 Note For Every Reader*
THE Bank of England is to give a brand new £5 note to each reader of The Daily Mash as part of its drive to stem the growing shortage of fivers in circulation.
Blair Sends Back Agent Provocateur Panties
TONY Blair is to return all his Agent Provocateur crotchless panties in protest at the saucy lingerie brand founder’s decision to reject his MBE.
Baggins Family Pans 'Lord Of The Rings' Musical
THE great nephew of Frodo Baggins has attacked the Lord of the Rings musical for 'playing fast and loose' with historical accuracy.
Brown To Appoint Milburn As 'Cabinet Enemy'
GORDON Brown will appoint Alan Milburn as his official Enemy in Cabinet when he takes over as Prime Minister next week.