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'Stay hungry. Stay foolish': Six patently bollocks quotes that morons live their lives by

THERE’S no one, single way to live your life, but there are plenty of stupid quotes you shouldn’t listen to. Sadly, idiots swear by all of these.

Chicken wings, pomegranates, and other food too insubstantial to be worth the f**king effort

SOME so-called foods yield so little nutritional reward for the painstaking effort of eating them that they're better off in the bin. Like these pathetic examples.

Wanker friend on holiday in Japan

YOUR most pretentious and wanky friend is enjoying a holiday in Japan, it has emerged.

Nationalism silly when other countries do it

THINKING your country is inherently better than all the rest is hilarious when that country is not the UK, it has emerged.

Woman who loses three fingers in accident just glad she has something to tell her hairdresser

A WOMAN who has suffered a life-changing injury is consoled that her upcoming visit to the hairdresser will have fewer awkward silences.

Your astrological week ahead for May 4th, with Psychic Bob

Fair play to 2Pac, he's pretty popular for a dead lad.

Festival offers selection of acts you would not pay to see individually

THIS spring and summer’s festivals are offering attendees the opportunity to see a collection of bands they may not be huge fans of but offer decent value in aggregate.

We ask you: should cafes ban laptops and their overpaid scum users?

A CANTERBURY cafe has banned laptops and claims it has helped build a community. Should others do the same?

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