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Boffins Produce World's First Cheese-Eating Mouse
SCIENTISTS have combined a mouse with a giant ear on its back and a mouse with spider’s legs to produce a small, cute creature with an inordinate fondness for cheese.
Hillary Clinton 'Probably A Witch' Agree Bush And Brown
BRITAIN and the United States have signed an historic agreement to hunt down witches and burn them in the village square.
After talks at the White House George Bush and Gordon Brown agreed that Senator Hillary Clinton was almost certainly the leader of an international coven which "nightly indulges in fleshy abominations with Satan himself".
Brown said: "If we pious and humble souls are to save thee from devilish temptations we must, by the grace of God, makest a mortal enemy of witchcraft.
Miracle Cat Knows When Old People Are About To Be Racist
MOLLY, a tabby cat at a Bournemouth nursing home, has displayed an uncanny ability for identifying elderly racists.
Viewers Baffled By New Series Of 'West Wing'
IT is one of the most critically acclaimed shows in the history of television, but last night's premiere of the new series of the West Wing left British viewers perplexed.
Disney To Ban Patio Heaters
ENTERTAINMENT giant Disney is to remove all images of patio heaters from its films.
Obesity Caused By 'Infected Buns'
FATNESS is contagious and can be caught from contaminated cakes, buns and sausages, according to new research.
Smell Of Piss Removed From Trains By 2014
THE unbearable stench of stale urine will be removed from all mainline and suburban rail services by 2014, the transport secretary said yesterday.