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Government To Tackle Binge-W*nking
THE legal age for masturbation is to be raised to 18 as part of a series of measures aimed at tackling binge-wanking among teenage boys.
Climate Change Link To Gingers
THE first clear link between ginger hair and climate change has been established by scientists at Dundee University.
'Springwatch' Badger Is Benefits Cheat
SPRINGWATCH badger Gary Degan is a dole cheat who is claiming thousands of pounds in benefits while appearing on the hit television show.
Minister Tells Middle Classes: Buy A Bong
MIDDLE class people looking to get "off their tits" should give up wine and smoke drugs "like everyone else", health minister Caroline Flint said last night.
Channel 4 To Show Queen Mother Eating A Gigantic Sausage
CHANNEL 4 is to follow up its controversial Diana documentary with footage of the Queen Mother eating an absolutely gigantic sausage.
I crush you
By Vladimir Putin WEAK, flabby western men with no love of country and no respect from women - I will take greatest pleasure in crushing you.
Ministers Propose 'Alf Garnett Day'
A NATIONAL holiday to celebrate the traditional British mistrust of foreigners is being proposed by the government.
Public Warned Not To Approach Olympic Logo Designer
POLICE have issued an urgent warning to the public not to approach the designer of the London 2012 Olympic logo.