the dailymash

Shit town has hop-on, hop-off tour bus

THE objectively awful town of Skegness runs a hop-on, hop-off open-top bus service so people can tour its grim sights at their leisure.

Labour MP kind of feels like he was voted into office to look after vulnerable?

A LABOUR rebel has admitted that he voted against the welfare bill because he always felt the party had more of a 'caring for the disabled' vibe.

The six best legal loopholes for a speeding fine you've made up yourself that won't work

BEEN slapped with a speeding fine? Convinced this is one of those laws that doesn't really count? Wriggle out of paying it with these clever excuses that will convince nobody.

How to survive Euro 2025 when you're bored with the Lionesses now: a guide for women

EURO 2025 kicks off today, but what if you're a woman who was briefly into football but now isn't really? Here's how to survive weeks of dutiful support.

Starmer refuses to resign on grounds no-one would notice

Every school play hinges on either UV light, strobe light or smoke machine

EVERY play performed by a school revolves around the single piece of stage technology that school possesses, it has emerged.

The art of the U-turn, by Sir Keir Starmer

POLITICS is like any relationship – it’s about compromise. And a Machiavellian brain like mine can compromise any enemy into submission by abandoning his beliefs at every turn.

Rest of country demands unbearable London heat be livestreamed

THE rest of the UK has requested that today’s 33ºC heat in London be viewable on a livestream for their entertainment and pleasure.