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Do your in-laws secretly think you're a twat?
THEY were pleasant enough to your face this weekend, but do they mean it? Or did they start doing mocking impressions of you the moment the door closed?
Badgers still unable to cross a f**king road
BADGERS remain utterly incapable of crossing roads while avoiding oncoming traffic, anyone who drove through a rural area over the weekend has confirmed.
'The females don their cock deely-boppers for the ritual to commence': Sir David Attenborough narrates a hen party
NATURALIST, naturist and national treasure Sir David Attenborough has turned his analytical eye to the brutal and feral rituals of the hen party.
Your astrological week ahead for March 30th, with Psychic Bob
It’s not just Easter eggs you should keep away from dogs. They should also be discouraged from consuming an entire Simnel cake.
Atheists unable to explain how evolution could make egg-laying bunny
ATHEISTS who reject religious doctrine have admitted nothing in their precious science can provide an explanation for the existence of the Easter Bunny.
We ask you: when should Rishi Sunak get his arse kicked at a general election?
THE prime minister has been accused of chickening out of calling a general election by Labour. When should he go to the country and lose?
The Archbishop of Canterbury on... the Tories' fish-and-chip bullshit
WAKING in John O’ Groats, after having aided my repose with several bottles of malt whisky, I reflect on the events that led me to isolation in the far North.