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Why hawking whiskey sold by criminals is the only path to salvation for the West, by Liz Truss
THE world order trembles on the edge of collapse. Only principled politicians attending whiskey launches by convicted criminals at Scunthorpe FC can save it.
Billie Piper already dad's favourite Doctor Who
BEAUTIFUL blonde Billie Piper has immediately become a dad’s most beloved incarnation of the Doctor, he has confirmed.
'Cool' teacher actually fully grown adult seeking approval of 15-year-olds
A TEACHER recognised by his pupils as ‘cool’ is actually a 28-year-old man desperate to be popular with children, it has emerged.
Who twatted Elon? A Daily Mash investigation
ELON Musk, at his final White House briefing alongside Trump this weekend, has been properly lamped one. The sad prick claimed his five-year-old did it. Who’s actually responsible?
Your astrological week ahead for May 31st, with Psychic Bob
You left your office job, and as a parting gift they gave you the full-sized freestanding fourth floor colour photocopier.
Making boyfriend better person 'not difficult'
A BRIDE whose new husband reflected in his wedding speech ‘she has made him a better person’ has admitted that it was not much of a job.
We ask you: How much Bitcoin will you be giving Reform UK?
NIGEL Farage has announced that Reform UK is now accepting bitcoin in an attempt to grab the youth weed dealer vote. How much will you be donating?
- Tear your city apart by playing Hunt The Banksy!
- The Archbishop of Canterbury on… is Bono's one-man show one person too many?
- Six other conspiracy theories that prove it wasn't a white man who did it
- The top eight meals for irrevocably ruining your clothes
- My day living my fantasy of being a PCSO, by Robert Jenrick