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Poster Reveals Unremitting Shitness Of New Robin Williams Movie

JUST looking at the poster for License to Wed, a new comedy starring Robin Williams, reveals the film's catastrophic shitness, it was claimed last night.

Blair Hires Scary Clown To Stalk Brown

TONY Blair has appointed a sinister clown to stalk Gordon Brown for the next two years in a bid to drive the Prime Minister "even further round the bend".

Market tumble sparks debt rise share plunge sell-off fears

SHARES in London closed down a million yesterday as squeezing credits in the sub-debt crunch market oozed in an oily mess on the floor.

Senior Police Cock Had Sex On Duty

A SENIOR penis in the British Transport Police is facing shame and ruin after being found guilty of having sex on duty and against the will of the officer it was attached to at the time.

Guest Blog: Gillian Mckeith

On my multi award-nominated Channel 4 show, You Are What You Eat, I might appear to some as an unqualified, cold-hearted old busy-body. But answer me one question: why would someone as popular, educated and talented as myself go to such extreme lengths when it comes to treating my patients?

Princess Diana 'Better Than Jesus' Says Archbishop

CHRISTIANS in England are to start worshiping Princess Diana instead of Jesus with a new prayer written by the Archbishop of Canterbury and exclusively revealed on the Daily Mash today. 

Fat Kids To Be Chased To School By Dogs

CARS are to be banned from the school run and children chased to their classes by angry dogs under new Government plans to eliminate childhood obesity by 2010.