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Miracle Cat Knows When Old People Are About To Be Racist
MOLLY, a tabby cat at a Bournemouth nursing home, has displayed an uncanny ability for identifying elderly racists.
Viewers Baffled By New Series Of 'West Wing'
IT is one of the most critically acclaimed shows in the history of television, but last night's premiere of the new series of the West Wing left British viewers perplexed.
Disney To Ban Patio Heaters
ENTERTAINMENT giant Disney is to remove all images of patio heaters from its films.
Obesity Caused By 'Infected Buns'
FATNESS is contagious and can be caught from contaminated cakes, buns and sausages, according to new research.
Smell Of Piss Removed From Trains By 2014
THE unbearable stench of stale urine will be removed from all mainline and suburban rail services by 2014, the transport secretary said yesterday.
Brown Unveils Plans For Underwater Society
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has unveiled ambitious plans to build 50,000 homes at the bottom of England's biggest lakes.
Insurance Companies Pretending To Be Chinese Restaurants
BRITAIN'S biggest insurance companies are pretending to be Chinese restaurants to avoid flood damage claims, the Daily Mash has learned.
Guest Blog: Gordon Ramsay
Fuck that for a game of soldiers, was what I initially said when first asked to write a 'Guest Blog'. These things are for speccy twats who spend too much time with their hands wrapped around their tiny cocks as they gaze at internet porn. And then I was told that there'd be a decent-size fee and a chance to talk about some of my exciting new projects, so here you fucking well go.