Search Results for:
Queen Sets Attack Dogs On 'Ghastly Salmond Fellow'
ALEX Salmond was forced to flee for his life yesterday after the Queen set a pair of dogs on him at the end of their first official audience.
Keith Richards Delighted To Discover He Is In 'Pirates Of The Caribbean'
ROLLING Stone Keith Richards last night said he was "amazed and delighted" to discover he was in the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie after attending its star-studded premiere in Hollywood.
She's No Virgin, Say Friends Of 'Miracle' Shark
MIRACLE shark Lorraine Chelsy is a 'skanky liar' who claimed she had a virgin birth to stop her mum going mad at her for getting pregnant, say her friends.
It's War!!! Overwhelming Support For Salmond's Dutch Assault
SCOTLAND is a nation of demented, blood-thirsty warmongers, straining to mount a full-scale assault on Holland, according to a Daily Mash readers' poll.
Andy Murray Appoints Excuses Coach
BRITISH number one Andy Murray has completed his preparations for dropping out of Wimbledon with the appointment of a world-class excuses coach.
In-Flight Erections To Double After Viagra Jetlag Discovery
VIRGIN is to raise the height of the seatback tray tables on its transatlantic flights by a number of inches after it emerged that love drug Viagra could now be used as a cure for jetlag.
Big Brother House To Include Room Full Of Man-Eating Tigers
THIS year's Big Brother house is to include quirky new features including a toilet in the middle of the livingroom floor and a room full of tigers.
Salmond To Generate Electricity By Rubbing Himself Against Shereen Nanjiani
FIRST minister Alex Salmond plans to satisfy the nation's energy needs by rubbing himself against a variety of high profile Scots.