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Stewart Stevenson Inducted Into Muppet Hall Of Fame
TRANSPORT minister Stewart Stevenson has become the first member of the Scottish Parliament to be inducted into the Muppet Hall of Fame.
Guest Blog: Alan Mcgee
Off to get my head shaved. Missing Buenos Aires. The weather was shit today in the UK so flew over there for half an hour but got bored. Courtney rang and said she is no longer off to rehab but back in 'hab' so I'm calling my new club in Nice that. The missus wants me to buy Nice but I want to buy Budapest. It's more punk rock and cheaper. Well it was when I was there at 3.30 this morning.
Men With Small Penises Mourn Spam King Arrest
MILLIONS of men with small penises and their wives were last night plunged into despair after the US announced it had arrested the so-called spam king of the internet.
It's War!!! Salmond Builds 400 Mile Bridge To Attack Dutch
ALEX Salmond is to cancel plans for an Edinburgh tram system and use the money to build a 400 mile bridge from Scotland to Amsterdam.
'Cameron In Tebbit Shed Orgy' Says Tory Press Release
DAVID Cameron was last night forced to deny claims that he presided over elaborate sex games in the garden shed of former Tory chairman Lord Tebbit.
Big Brother Unveils 'All Idiot' House
THE latest series of Big Brother kicked off last night with the unveiling of a house made up exclusively of idiots and half-wits.
Prince Philip Eats Two Cats And A Badger
PRINCE Philip has answered critics of his participation in a fox hunt by eating two cats and a badger.
God Tells Britney To Sod Off
GOD last night said he would pretend to be out after troubled singer Britney Spears revealed she “could not wait to meet Him”.