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Brown Waits To See If Britain Is That Stupid
GORDON Brown was today waiting for opinion poll results that will reveal whether or not Britain really is that stupid.
BNP Drops White Men Who Secretly Fantasise About Denzel Washington-Only Policy
THE BNP has voted to open its membership to people who are not repressed homosexuals secretly pining for the hot love of a large, powerful black man.
Living Under A Flyover Is Character-Building, Says Minister
A FEW months sleeping under a flyover and eating discarded banana skins never did anyone any harm, the government said yesterday.
Missus In Right Old Tiz Over Bit Of Fun With Dolly Birds
TV presenter Vernon Kaye's missus shouldn't get her knickers in a twist over a bit of saucy fun, Seventies experts said last night.
School Bans Ugly Children
A VILLAGE primary school has saved Valentine's Day by giving its ugliest pupils the day off.
Traditional Burglary A Dying Art, Say Thieves
THE heart-warming sight of an old-fashioned burglar smashing a toilet window could soon be swept away by a rising tide of joyless online fraud, according to some of Britain's leading thieves.
Female Ref Books Player For Not Listening
THE Football League's first ever female referee booked Coventry City's Carl Baker yesterday for being totally insensitive.