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The 16 things you need to own to be a Guardian reader

YOU may browse it online now and then to see what the liberal elite think, but to truly be a Guardian reader you need to live the Guardian lifestyle.

'Quick, easy' recipe from Guardian still being prepared eight days later

A COUPLE who tried to make a 'fast, easy mid-week supper recipe' from the Guardian recipe are still cooking it almost eight days later.

Man unaware he was having crisis of masculinity until Guardian told him

A MAN is worried he is not properly engaging with the ‘crisis of masculinity’ he read about in the Guardian.

Guardian thinks women are a team

THE Guardian has decided women are like a big sports team who all women are massive fans of.

Evil Guardian once again tricks football fan with article about women's football

THE scheming, duplicitous Guardian has again hoodwinked an innocent football fan into browsing an article about women’s football.

Is your sex problem middle class enough for the Guardian?

ARE you thinking about writing to the Guardian with a sexual problem but are worried it’s not middle-class enough? Read our guide.

The Guardian reader's guide to making sure your child doesn't fit in at school

ARE you a middle-class parent who wants to make their child seem pretentious and unusual when they go back to school? Follow our guide.

Guardian-reading Labour couple checking they're not Nazis

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple who are Labour party members are investigating whether they are vile anti-semites.