A DOG-OWNING couple are up in arms about democracy and freedom of movement after hearing that pet passport rules may change.
MUMS have a unique right to be pissed off with their family for any reason. Here is a mother's guide to having issues with your relatives.
NOT got enough on your entirely self-imposed Christmas to-do list? Here’s how to make December as pointlessly exhausting as possible.
A WOMAN has reached a major milestone in her life after purchasing a box of bran flakes instead of a childish breakfast cereal containing a toy.
A MUM has requested that everybody f**k off when asked what she would like for Christmas.
A WOMAN is unable to give the driver who delivered her weekly shopping a five-star rating because his grammar let him down.
DO you secretly suspect that celebrities are better people than you? You are correct. Here’s how to destroy your self-esteem by comparing yourself to them.
IT’S coming up to Christmas, which means some tosser will make you sit next to them to watch a Christmas movie they love and you don’t. Like these.
IT'S been almost a week since right-wing darling Laurence Fox was in the news for hosting a large gathering. With the oxygen of publicity running low, how will he get attention next?
WITH Christmas fast approaching, you’ll be spending a frightening amount of time and money in the supermarket. But what should you definitely not do while shopping during a pandemic?
IT wasn’t a slip of the tongue. You can take America, France and Germany and stick them up your arse. Britain is the best country in the world and my career is living proof of it.
AN office worker who floated the idea of doing a virtual secret Santa has been told to piss off by colleagues, it has been confirmed.
CHILDREN are being taken to see a Santa behind a plastic screen with masked elves and mandatory hand gel to keep the magic of Christmas alive.
UK negotiators have denied trying to scupper Brexit talks by discussing the rights of every single fish in British waters.
GOOD morning. As a man whose achievements are no more than broken marriages and a useless cable car, I find myself having to take credit for other people’s. Here’s how:
ARE you confused by people talking about things that could either be a haircut that would never suit you or a sex position you would never be able to make work? Here is a guide.
DO you find that things you read in the ‘mainstream media’ don't fit with your insane beliefs? Here’s how to convince yourself social media is more credible.
INTRIGUED by the mysterious monoliths that have been springing up around the world? Here are the boring places they probably came from.
IDIOTS have been warned that merely ordering a vaccine does not make them immediately immune to Covid.
A BOYFRIEND has been shocked to discover his girlfriend has obsessively filled her cupboard space with an array of bizarrely flavoured teas.