A BRITISH policeman has admitted he is furious at the sheer amount of cool shit his American counterparts have got.
I TOTALLY got away with it. You thought I wouldn’t. You said I wouldn’t. You wrote big articles about how I wouldn’t. But guess what, f**kers? I did.
IT’S sunny, so ignore coronavirus completely and get yourself down to the nearest crowded seaside town. Here’s how to be as irresponsible as possible.
OH dear, it looks like you’re enjoying something which the Guardian says you shouldn't. Here staff writer Nathan Muir explains how to feel guilty about everything.
YOUR elderly parents are in a high-risk group so they haven't left the house or let anyone in for the last 10 weeks. Apart from the following:
A MAN realised to his horror that he had been invited to a barbecue for vegetarians.
DO you normally stop the awkwardness of a first date by getting drunk and having sex? Here’s how to cope now that’s not allowed.
THE bankers who were given a shedload of money in 2008 have been told that now might be a good time to give it back.
JACOB Rees-Mogg is insisting that social distancing in the Commons is carried out with long-forgotten imperial measurements.
THE government has ordered anyone who uses public transport, shops at Asda or whose home is in council tax bands A-C to wear facemasks.
FOR many parents, your kids going back to school is a distant dream and you’ve used up all your ideas for child-friendly fun. Here are five projects if you’re utterly desperate.
A MARRIED couple have been carefully avoiding sexual intercourse for months despite not being told to do so.
PEOPLE develop immunity to coronavirus after consuming four pints of beer, drunk people have confirmed.
A WOMAN managed to make it through three pages of the book she planned to read during lockdown before calling it a day.
LOCKDOWN is easing, but what does it mean for the fantasy role-playing game community? Here's what to expect if you're obsessed with D&D or Warhammer.
HAVE you got weird, disgusting habits and share a flat? Simply add one point for each of these activities and find out if other people are slagging you off to their mates.
THESPIAN Danny Dyer has confirmed he is going to the United States to have a word.
OUTDOOR romps are not prohibited by the government’s sex ban so go for it, the health secretary has said.
A WOMAN’S sourdough starter has let her down just like every other human, animal and plant always bloody does.
AS lockdown eases it was clearly no biggie and there’s every reason for complacency. Here are some things everyone has stopped doing now COVID-19 has been sent packing.