YOU'RE keen to get back to your public pool, but don’t forget your hazmat suit. There's still plenty to make you gag.
ONCE you're over 18 you're embarrassed to be seen buying certain foods. These are the most shameful:
A COUPLE who only drink on Fridays and Saturdays get absolutely f**king wrecked every Friday and Saturday, friends have confirmed.
THOUGH after two drinks they believe they’re Justin Timberlake, men are shit at dancing. Here are five moves they make tits of themselves with.
COOKING can be fun and relaxing unless you’ve chosen fiddly as f**k ingredients. These five aren't worth the hassle.
AN unbearable twat wants you to think about 'some weekends that might work' for a meet up now restrictions have eased.
A WOMAN has awoken to discover her nap was a terrible, terrible mistake.
A MAN is horrified to realise he has started making unusual grunting noises whenever he uses a urinal.
THE Labour Party has announced it is to be formally wound up after losing the Hartlepool by-election.
THINK you’re a sophisticated adult? Then how come you still haven’t left behind these things that are clearly meant for young people, you massive overgrown child?
RED Wall Tories have made their voices heard in Labour's former heartlands. Take our quiz and find out if you're one of these confusing voters.
YESTERDAY the plucky little island of Jersey saw off a vast French invasion force. Read our Commando comics-style account of this epic battle written especially for Brexiters.
THERE are some topics this broadsheet seems to have a psychotic obsession with. Here are some we’ve honestly heard enough about...
THE DUP are looking for a new leader with the right blend of political acumen and batshit personal beliefs. Could you do the job? Read their recruitment ad:
BREXIT is going so amazingly well that within a mere five months we are now at war with France.
OFF to the polling station today with a strong suspicion it won’t improve things in the slightest? Here’s why you are probably right to be cynical.
THE sad passing of Nick Kamen has caused much nostalgia for his famous jeans advert. Here are the ads of the era that everyone got ridiculously obsessed with.
WERE you ever close to being a trendy and popular person or have you always been an awkward loser? Deep down you already know the answer, but double-check with our quiz.
SCOTLAND is what they call the bit of land at the top of England, for some reason. It’s even allowed its own funny little political system. Here’s my guide to it.
THEY might not have arms but birds can still hand your ass to you. Naturalist Chris Packham reveals which of our feathered friends would f**k you up one-on-one.