JACOB Rees-Mogg is back on his bullshit, but what is the professional troll up to today?
CHILDREN have been ordered to wait in the car with fizzy drinks and crisps so that barbecues do not exceed the six person limit.
TEN weeks into lockdown, the government has decided to clarify who is allowed to have sex with who, where, and when.
SLEEPING can be tricky, especiallly when you get up late and do nothing all day. So if you need to eat to the point of passing out like a milk-drunk baby, try these.
WHY is the government is taking actions for pandemic level one while we’re at level four but pretending it’s level three? Let me explain while soaring on ket.
A TEACHER has turned the aftermath of her lockdown drinking into a valuable learning experience, pupils have confirmed.
IKEA customers queued for three hours to buy Ekets, Skogstas and of course Möjlighet yesterday. Is your life meaningless without Swedish flatpacks?
DO you make friends and family feel guilty by always sending birthday and thank you cards? Try being even more irritating.
A SIX-YEAR-OLD has confirmed that the socially distanced school he has returned to is odd and scary while remaining crap and boring.
A MAN who claims to have been made unemployed by the pandemic was actually sacked for making inappropriate office advances while drunk.
LOCKDOWN is kind of over, a bit, so you need a good spin on it for your CV. Try these seven claims.
SIXTEEN Britons have injured themselves this weekend in complications relating to the new eye-testing system, police have confirmed.
AS OF this morning, residents of England can go for that barbecue in Uncle Brian’s garden they’ve been thirsting for. What other horrific activities can we no longer avoid?
A COUPLE are looking forward to lockdown easing enough to have friends over for a drink in their garden and a wee behind the shed.
A MAN trying to make a basic lasagne from a woman's blog had to read her entire life story before getting to the actual recipe.
THE anger towards the PM’s senior adviser doesn’t seem to be dying down. Perhaps these punishments could satisfy the country’s rage?
DO you usually base 90 per cent of your conversations around your ludicrously expensive holiday plans? Here’s what to show off about in 2020 instead.
PEOPLE in Britain have admitted that their daily walks are really f**king boring now.
A MAN has interrupted a woman mid-sentence to remind her that he supports equal rights for women.
TINY things are now a giant faff, Britons have realised as lockdown begins to ease.