ARE you in a long-term relationship with someone you’ve realised is an embarrassing twat? Here are some common problems and what to do about them.
A WORKING class family have said they are not keen on the term, unlike middle class people who like to call themselves that.
A DAD believes no confusion has been caused by using 34 metaphors during a talk about sex with his son.
ANYONE who catches Covid is to be rewarded for their efforts with £500, cash in hand, no questions asked, to spend on whatever they want.
HAS the spark fizzled out between you and your dominant hand? Turn up the heat in the bedroom with these saucy tips.
YO. Matt here. You may have noticed I consider myself pretty damn cool. So after my Covid scare, here’s how I’m self-isolating with ATTITUDE. Party on, dudes!
THE prime minister will be wasting no time sucking up to newly sworn-in president Joe Biden. Here is a transcript of their first conversation today.
DO you worry that your arguments sometimes conflict with what you said moments earlier? Don’t worry - here Brexiter Martin Bishop explains how to hold two contradictory views.
AN insurance company is horrified by the suggestion that it might ‘pay out’ to ‘claimants’ on its ‘policies’.
CELEBS like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Keeley Hawes have revealed they like to work from bed. But what are the hidden dangers? Here is a guide every homeworker should read.
AN expert in three fields of geek subculture thinks of himself as a ‘triple threat’ to both fellow dorks and the hearts of women.
THE average house price in London is now £500,000 and that will only bag you a pokey little flat. Here are some better ways to spend your money.
HE’S without doubt the greatest president ever, beating even Richard Nixon and George W. Bush. But what do you remember about Trump’s four years at the helm?
POST-BREXIT, plucky British crabs are being refused entry to the EU because of petty rules about live animal imports that prove we were right to leave. What could they do?
A MOTHER attempting to teach her children at home has reported herself to Ofsted as ‘inadequate’.
ARE your ludicrous QAnon conspiracy theories crumbling around you as Trump leaves office? Here’s how to pretend you expected this all along.
BRITAIN’S idiot drivers have vowed to try their luck at driving through floodwater after having a guess at how deep it is.
THE £20-per-week rise in Universal Credit for the pandemic cannot last forever, because we do not deserve it. Here’s how to flash that cash while it lasts.
YOGHURT the wrong way round? Given a spoon you don’t like? Make it into a massive drama with this handy guide.
THE sentence ‘Gwyneth fanny candle explosion’ is one that makes perfect sense to people in the dystopia of 2021.